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For instance: do I think about the STD during sex – is it a turn-off, are there certain sexual activities we can’t do?Most importantly, am I also willing to accept part of the responsibility for my sexual health?

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The memory of that one-night stand stopped overwhelming me with regret. " The callous: "Don't tell people that so quickly after meeting them. I still want to fuck you."I still get anxious when I tell a new partner, wondering if I know him well enough to confide that I have herpes, nervous he'll run in the other direction, certain this is the deal breaker. And I've realized that if someone does run away, he's not the kind of man I want to have sex with anyway.

I went into a tailspin of feeling dirty, worthless, and hopeless. I consider myself progressive and open-minded, but when it came to herpes, I couldn't see past the stereotypes.

I kept thinking about friends who were more promiscuous than I'd ever been and wondering how I was the girl who ended up with herpes. I started drinking more, isolated myself from everyone, and even quit my job.

He didn't have it himself at the time, but he didn't care and accepted her with open arms. He's a better man than me that's for sure, because I don't think I can date someone with the herps, even if I was the meat between a Mila and Natalie lesbian sandwich.

Marie Claire: How has having a STI affected your dating life?

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