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Brady goes 6 for 6, the key play being a 46-yard strike to the ever-improving Doug Gabriel on 3rd and 10 deep in Minnesota territory, and a nice grab by Reche Caldwell and his giant freakin' eyes gives the Pats a 7-0. Bethel Johnson returns the kickoff for the Vikings to the 31. Alomar, who was once engaged to tennis star Mary Pierce, spent 17 years in the majors and was one of the game's great second basemen. Ilya Dall is seeking at least million in punitive damages from the 41-year-old former infielder.Wants to devote more time to his true calling -- collecting porcelain kitties 4. Drug dealers selling "nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, achy, stuffy-head, fever, so you can rest" crack 1. National Parks Service approved addition of Ben and Jerry to Mount Rushmore 3. You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets 7. After accepting large donations from Indonesian businessmen, asks them to sign his cast 2. Instead of "direct to video," your movie was released "direct to landfill" 9. Every time you yelled "action" your lead actor started shaking like a medicated bunny 4. Before spying on someone, you always ask, "Mind if I snoop around a little? You've got a letter of recommendation from Fidel Castro 8. Your choice for the Joint Chiefs of Staff: the dudes from KISS 1. He must really love her -- he's actually seen all of her movies 9. Somebody call the cops, John Mc Enroe just punched out an usher 6. Teach him the old "get sympathy by falling off a stage" trick 6. Sponsor his membership in the Has-Been Republicans Club 4. Once and for all, teach the clumsy bastard how to mambo 10. Every day after school, eats his weight in silicon chips 'n' salsa 8. By the time your daughter's old enough to start dating really creepy guys, you'll be dead 4. Great chance to start "Bring Your Daughters to the Rest Home" day 2. Can finally watch all my taped episodes of "Touched By An Angel" 8. Spent a romantic evening at home with his new girlfriend, Jenny Mc Carthy 6. Called up Moviefone and bought Garry Kasparov twenty tickets for everything 4. As they list each nominee for Prom King, you shout, "gay! The theme is "under the sea," but you brazenly insist on acting as though you're above sea level 4. After shooting baskets, they keep trying to kick extra points 8. Dinosaurs and humans settle their differences with a spirited game of Yahtzee 7. Get to meet the world's fattest man and ask, "So what's it like to be president? When visiting New York, you can actually outrun the gunfire 10. Trying to impress his dates by wearing underpants that read, "The buck stops here" 7. You order a pia colada; you get a warm can of Schlitz with a cocktail onion 7. Found out that his internet sex partner, "Ingrid," was actually Matt Lauer 3. Wants to see for himself what it's like to stand outside the "Today Show" window and give the finger 1. Start every speech by asking, "Who else here likes puppies? Train for a couple of months, then knock the hell out of Mike Tyson 8. It's been five years since the Space Mountain rollercoaster made it up the first hill 2. You can adjust his volume using the remote control 6. Room covered with giant poster of shirtless Bob Barker 4. Steals batteries from your pacemaker to put in remote control 2. The babes just don't seem to go for your home-made Star Trek uniform 6. New pickup line: "How'd you like a ride on wheelchair one? Film title includes the words "booty" and/or "call" 8. Your last covert mission was stealing frozen burritos from 7-11 7. They never have sex without a line judge and a ball boy 5. Instead of spraying champagne on the groom, they're dousing him with Rogaine 3. Get him a job at the Mc Donald's where Jack Kemp works 8. He somehow uses morphing technology to make your cat look just like David Duchovny 7. Save money: buy diapers in bulk for your kid and you 1. Get to spend every evening "slam dunking" a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon 7. Doing a guest spot on "Friends" as Monica's "brainy" new boyfriend 3. Downloaded some pictures of Teri Hatcher and gave the ol' mouse a workout 1. You're a Woonsocket man and you're not in Woonsocket 3. Team does pre-game gargle with Michael Jordan's cologne 7. Steven Spielberg can often be seen in the background, counting huge stacks of money 6. Spreading rumor that Bob Dole is old when, in fact, he's only 36 6. For every order over , Mayor Mc Cheese will whack a guy for you 7. Steel drum band is a guy banging on your car with a hammer 6.




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