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This weekend, we posted an excerpt from a Your Tango piece called “How To Tell If A Guy Likes You,” written by Evan Mark Katz, a self-proclaimed “dating coach” for “smart, strong, successful women.” The thesis of his piece — which he advocates in his book, Why He Disappeared — is that women would have much more success in dating and love if they practiced “mirroring.” Basically, it means you don’t do anything unless he does it first. So, yes, I’m sure that Katz’s method does indeed work 99 percent of the time in terms of it helping a woman weed out guys who are either A) not interested to begin with or B) guys who are but not aggressive enough to play the pursuer role full-time.

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So, yes, you seem to have a good understanding of the courtship process. ” or “It’s cool that you have a busy life, but I don’t want a once-a-week booty call; I want a boyfriend who makes me a priority. That last line alone should save you YEARS of wasted time.Katz brags, “I dated my wife for a year and a half before proposing and I don’t think she initiated contact with me once in that time. It’s because she knew that if I wanted to talk to her, I’d call her.” But what about those times she really wanted to talk to you? Katz’s approach puts men into two categories: 1.) the Aggressive Hunter Type he assumes whom all women dream about and 2.) the Totally Wussy Gaylord who might as well have a vagina.She couldn’t initiate contact because it would violate the rules of mirroring? Mirroring gives men almost all of the control in dating and takes away almost all of a woman’s agency. And if a guy doesn’t pursue and doesn’t give her anything to mirror/react to, well, then he wasn’t interest in her anyway and nothing was lost. The implication is that if a woman pursues a guy and he’s not interested, she’s somehow shamed.During the dating stage, we learn to mirror, lean back, observe, and to be open to receiving rather than giving. We don’t want to try to control things or push things along. We learn that love is accepting someone’s flaws (as long as they are not unethical, immoral or abusive) and putting someone else’s needs before your own.” It is during this time that the masks come off and people reveal their true character. This is one of the things that often happens with readers who continue to mirror well into their relationships. There’s a huge difference between a text that says: “What should I wear to your parents’ house on Friday? If he’s your boyfriend, he should want to make you happy.This way we can evaluate a man’s intent, his level of interest and his ability to lead. During this stage we begin to see one another’s flaws and decide whether to accept or reject them. We are excited and want to express our deep feelings and desire for a future. He says he wants to take down his profile and focus on you. The guy who was charming at the beginning becomes aloof. The guy who was intoxicated by you becomes critical. There are no “games” when you’re in a relationship. “We’ve been together five months and we have plans this Friday night, but I’m not sure what to wear. It’s your job to tell him how to do so – he’s not a mindreader.




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