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When Neil Strauss’s blockbuster book about pickup artistry came out a decade ago, I was a Midwestern ingenue in New York City, and I read it mostly as a defensive measure. (The cube represents the woman’s ego or something—so if it’s big, it means she’s self-confident; if it’s transparent as opposed to opaque that means she’s open as opposed to guarded; if it’s pink that means she’s bright and energetic … student named Jon had mentioned , and was demonstrating how it worked by means of “The Cube” routine, where you ask a woman to imagine a box standing in the desert, and you tell her about herself based on how she describes it.Any way you could do this—and there were lots of bizarre techniques with goofy names, like “peacocking,” where you might wear an outlandish hat to give people something to comment on—helped you get the access you needed to try to convince someone to sleep with you. If anything, Tinder has only facilitated this probability-based approach to courtship, but Strauss’s new book, , is about how he ended up settling down and making peace with the fact that you can’t be monogamous with everyone. But because no one had even heard of this world, and the techniques, let’s face it, are so objectifying and horrifying, that the book became the bible of what it was trying to chronicle in a more neutral way.

Here are a few lines that women I interview have had used on them. It offers more stock lines, like “I like that outfit you’ve got on, but your shoes don’t really match.” “Your nose is a little red.(Sample: Do not make a move until you get three IOIs, or Indicators of Interest, such as a slight touch on the arm.) Indeed, the neg itself could be seen as a way to address the problem that sometimes the best way to get a gal’s attention is to ignore her. Kathy Gilsinan: It’s hilarious that this interview got postponed a couple of times. Gilsinan: It’s interesting you say almost regretfully that it became the Bible, because it was marketed that way, right?If she doesn’t notice you’re ignoring her, then you’re both just standing there not talking to each other. I have a copy that’s on my desk that has [gilt edges], it has a red-ribbon bookmark. It was designed by my publisher at the time like a Bible. Gilsinan: But it’s interesting too, given the way the book ends, with you meeting this woman who is not impressed by any of this stuff, and then you end up with her.Last night I opened to a few random pages of the book "The Game," a guide for pick-up artists by Neil Strauss.According to many guys I know, this is a must read.

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Watch gasp in horror as my friend tells him off but know about dating an introvert, you can’t help it because you’re afraid of losing.

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